Rewards

I always feel like I am trying different "diets." I hate the word diet and I try not to think of it like that. I get going and shortly realize that I put limitations on everything. I feel guilty for eating 1 wrong thing and then completely give up. Crazy I know, but that is just how I work. This is something that I am working on. I realize that only YOU can change your eating habits and not someone else. As much as someone can say, lets eat healthy or lets workout out. Until you make up YOUR mind, nothing gets done or you only stick to it short term. Last week, I had a great life changing thing happen. I can't tell you when or what caused it, but i literally woke up and said.....Im going to be healthy. I think its because I literally couldn't look at myself in the mirror without getting mad at myself. Over the past year (ish) I have gained 10 pounds. Note...I have been around the same weight since high school so this was a HUGE thing for me to realize. All my pants still fit and I don't feel any different. I blame it on turning 23 and my metabolism stopping. Ha! Anyways...back to what I was saying. I have learned through "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore that i have multiple insecurities. One of my main ones is body image. I have always been "average" not big and not small. The thing that bothers me the most is my stomach. I have always had a pudge (its hereditary...sorry future kids) and I have learned to embrace it.....UNTIL.....I began getting asked when I was due. Really people? You find it necessary to ask when someone is due when they aren't even prego. I swear...you don't ask someone unless there water is about to break. So in all of this said.....I want to get rid of my tummy and get in shape. I know that it takes a lifestyle change and that is what I am willing to do. Not just go on a crash diet, but load my life with exercise, fruits and veggies and a few unhealthy snacks! :) I dont want to deprive myself from things I love and so I will have a small piece of chocolate cake (Every once in a while). I want to make working out fun so I have enlisted my mom to take long walks with me (sometimes i even get her to jog). I love to go to Zumba and do things like that. I want to do this for me.....not to show anyone else what I am capable of...but just for me. I have a lot of exciting things that are coming up in the future and I want to feel my very best for them. I also decided that i have to change the way I do certain things. When you are small what do your parents reward you with? a sucker? ice cream? a coke? Get the picture.....rewards=food. This happened to me and it happens to many children and they grow up thinking food is a reward. When I do good on a test.....I automatically think that I need a 400 calorie frap for a reward. I read somewhere that you need to eat to live....not live to eat. It just hit me that I needed to think of positive ways to reward myself. Ways that would help my body and make me feel like a million bucks. Ha! So last week when I made a B on my incredibly hard stat midterm.....I didn't get a frapp. I waited until this week when I had a "craving" to get my nails painted. I decided that getting my nails painted was something positive that I could do for myself. Every lady wants to feel pretty and I am re-adjusting what I am doing to reward myself. I hope everyone has an awesome rest of the week!